Saturday, October 4, 2008

The long awaited announcement!!

As a missionary in the Pennsylvania Philadelphia Mission, my prayers each & every day included a petition to the Lord that that area would be blessed with a Temple. Today, after hundreds of missionaries & members alike have sought for this blessing from the Lord, today President Monson announced 5 new Temples, including one in Philadelphia!

Here's a couple of links to the articles:
Five new Temples announced: http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/news-releases-stories/church-continues-temple-building-throughout-the-world
Specific to Philly: http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/news-releases-stories/first-temple-announced-in-philadelphia-pennsylvania
Yay! I was so grateful to hear that announcement, & to be sitting with Amber Lopez when we heard it. The Lord is good, & has heard our prayers. This is a Joyful day!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

My phone gave up.

In case any of you were wondering, I'm NOT ignoring you. Probably nobody has called or texted anyway, but in any case, I am without my cell phone for a few days. Here's the story.

On Friday around noon-ish, I was typing a long text message when my phone shut off & restarted itself. ... or TRIED to restart itself. It just kept trying over & over to restart. After our inservice & chiropractor, & getting out to PV to the store... The Verizon people called it "power cycling", and there's nothing they can do to fix it.

I was really mad about the fact that I've lost EVERYTHING that I had on my phone- pictures (including some of my favorites that I now have no copy of), videos, conversations, calendar things... Gone. All of it. That also made me really sad! I've felt really disconnected from everyone & everything.

I came home & ordered a new phone online, & now I'm just waiting "1-2" or "2-3" business days for it to get here. Thank goodness I was past due for an upgrade! But Too Bad I didn't just DO the upgrade a few days ago, or a month or two ago.

Oh well. I'm comming to terms with my loss.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Labor Day Weekend

The weekend has been good, & it's kind of only half-way over!


Friday after work, meetings, & preping- a little, I came home & spent a little time playing with my nephew before I headed to the Valley. I got to see my former roommates, & had a lot of fun. On Saturday morning, Amber, a few of her friends, & I went to Tempe Town Lake & rented kayaks. It was fun! This isn't a picture of ME, but this is the lake, & the kayak.


I also started reading Breaking Dawn, which I finished on Monday. I Love the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer, & I want to buy them all. I also want to read them all in a row, because I read 1-3 LAST summer, then earlier this summer I read the first & second books again, but didn't read the third one again before I read Breaking Dawn. My memory falters (to put it nicely), & especially with books & movies. I can read or watch again & again & have it be like the first time.

Another reason for visiting Mesa was to go to the Temple, & I was glad for that experience. It's a darn good place to be, especially when life feels crazy.

My plan was to come back on Saturday evening, but I was exhausted after rowing for miles in the sun, & playing the rest of the day, so I decided to come back Sunday morning. I did, & met Trenton & Seth at church!! YAY!

On Monday we decided to go out shooting. Trenton has a handgun (some of you may remember from an earlier blog enty...) & we went way out Perkinsville Road & found a place to shoot. I had to laugh, because when I've gone shooting with Mac, I'm GOOD. He even told me that with practice I might become better than him, but I couldn't hit ANYTHING with Trenton's gun! After a minute, he told me to just aim in the general direction we were shooting, & pull the trigger as fast as I could. He said it was great stress relief, & I guess he was right. It was fun anyway. I'll have to see if I can get pictures from Chelsea, because she was having fun taking lots of them!

Coming home, we had a ... pause, of sorts. We were driving back towards my Mom's house, when Cameron & Ethan, sitting in the back, found a centipede crawling around! We stopped the car, all got out, & Trenton & Cameron tried to find & kill the nasty little bug. They found it, but it went INSIDE the seat- in Trenton's brand new 4 Runner! We finally decided that maybe they'd hit the seat hard enough to knock it out, & that there was nothing we could do more without tools. We piled back in, but Mom & Chelsea didn't want to sit in the back seats anymore, & we didn't want to put Seth back there, so all three of them sat on my lap in the front seat. It was funny! Especially when Trenton reached down & tickled Mom's leg, & she thought it was the Centipede! She wiggled all over & screamed. Trenton laughed so hard he almost cried. It was an adventure, for sure! The sad part was that with our detour, I missed my good friend's birthday party! :o( That wasn't so fun.

Overall though, My long weekend, was a GOOD weekend!

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Teaching: Week One!

Wow! Week one is gone! I'll admit, it was a little bit terrifying as I prepared for starting out a classroom, especially for Kindergarten, with little ones who don't know HOW to go to school, and line up, or walk in line, or write their names, or any of the basics that my kiddo's are starting to get already.

I started the week with 15 kids, and even though one didn't get there until almost lunch time, they all came. One little boy was absent the whole rest of the week... probably because of a swollen eye & a note home from the nurse saying that he shouldn't come back as long as his eye was red & swollen. I'm hoping he'll be back on Monday. I got a new little boy on Wednesday or Thursday, so that put me up to 16 kids. (an AMAZINGLY SMALL class!)

I have a little girl who is pretty much terrified to be at school. On her first day she didn't eat (except for one bite of pizza at lunch, because I begged her.) All day she cried off & on... a pattern that followed for most of the week, although each day got a little better- except for the day after I accidentally sent her on a bus that gets her home, but not the bus she was supposed to take. The next day she told me "you put me on the wrong bus." & I said " I Know, and I'm SO sorry Honey!" She forgave me & we moved on, & got her on the right bus the rest of the days. I felt awful though. (Especially because it didn't feel right to me, but I still put her on the bus I had on my list, instead of the one it should have been changed to.) Hopefully Monday will be even better, & she'll be great.

Oh, I think I forgot to mention that my class, although acting like a normal Kindergarten class, is labled Kindergarten ELD (English Language Development). I love the fact that this means I get to use my spanish... For communicating with the parents, (because it's illegal to teach in any language other than English). I Love My Class, but I don't necessarily like the segregation idea that creates at T.E.S. 2 ELD & 3 "Regular" Kindergarten classes. I like that idea even less when it means that one of my sweet little girls will be switching to a different K class on Monday, because she doesn't speak spanish. Why do they think they need to move her & change things for her when she's doing fine in my class? Poor kid. She just got used to Kindergarten, & now on Monday she'll have to start getting used to a different class, kids, & a different great teacher.

Monday I'll also get a new little boy in my class, because he does speak spanish, & only Spanish & that makes it hard for the teacher he's had all week to help him. I hope he'll do good in my class.

Oh, one more note about the first week of teaching... NEXT Friday is payday, and I'm really excited for that, because I'm tired of being the most broke I've been in my life. During the past couple of weeks I have maxed out my credit card, paid a little bit on it from my overdraft loan on my checking account, & repeated that process. It's kind of depressing. I hate debt.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Over 40!!

So, I was really excited last time I filled up my gas tank & checked my mileage!
I got over 40 Miles per Gallon!!!
What made this discovery even happier is the fact that most of that tank of gas was used with my new "commute" to work. So hopefully this will be the norm.
Yay!

** Update!
So, I have to fill up more frequently than I'm used to, since I'm driving much farther every day, BUT... I filled up again on Wednesday, and when I calculated my mileage.......
42.77 miles per gallon!!
Wow! I was so excited! Who knew that Hot Stuff could do so darn good!!?!

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Update!

Wow! This is an update I should have made on here a long-ish while ago!

I am NOT teaching 4th grade at Territorial when school starts next week!
I will be however, teaching Kindergarten ELD! Yay!

Now I'm going to stop blogging so that I can get ready for "Meet the Teacher" tomorrow!
Wish me luck!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Needing to catch up...

It's somehow been a long time since I've added anything on here! (I blame in part moving, another part to working on my classroom, & even more to internet that is sporadic at best since I moved)...

Moving really did happen, and I think I counted that this is my 17th-ish address in about the past 5 years! I'm ready to settle down sometime, I think. ... As long as I can still travel a little every once in a while. I guess starting out a career, with plans to stay in the same area for a while might help reduce my moving incidents. ... We'll see.

I need to catch up on lots of things that have been going on, but just as much, I need to catch up on some sleep. I'm beat.

But! Rather than make this be just a lame blog (like so many journal entries from my younger days: "I haven't written in a long time. A lot has happened & I need to catch up"... same thing next time a long-ish while later...) Well, here's a funny story from tonight!

I'm sitting here on the couch, wasting precious sleep time reading blogs about people I lost touch with years ago, when the doorbell rings. Mind you, it's 10:30 at night, I'm tired & sitting up alone since Trenton & Seth have both already gone to bed, & I didn't think we were expecting anybody.

Well, I went to ask Trenton if he was expecting anyone, thinking he would still be asleep since he can sleep through just about anything. Well, I opened his door, & he was right there. Not only was he standing right at his door when I opened it (not in bed like I expected), he also cocked his gun right as I opened the door.

I Jumped.
about a foot into the air!
I Jumped a foot in the air & practically stumbled backward.
After the jumping & stumbling, & confirming that this wasn't a visitor either of us was waiting for, I asked who was at the door.
It was Jake.
Trenton's little brother-in-law.
& his mom.
coming to see Seth.

Really late.

I was shaky from the whole sleepy, gun, door, late visit thing.

We laughed hard.
Trenton wished he could have recorded me jumping.

I'm glad he didn't.

Good-night.

Monday, June 30, 2008

A New Roommate!

So since I got the job, I'm moving to Prescott. And since I quit my illegal immigrant job, I'm ALREADY moving. It's change, & this one makes me sad & excited, but I still think it's good! With these changes... This is one of my new roommates in Prescott. I love him lots!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Team Marshmallow POOF



You might be wondering what the Heck Team Marshmallow POOF is all about...
Tonight my ward had an Iron Chef competition. The secret ingredient was lemon or pineapple.
Chelsea, Laycee & I made fruit & dip. It was really yummy, and we won a couple of awards!

In case you can't read them in the picture, our awards are: "Most likely to be seen at a Mormon event", & "Once You Pop You Can't Stop". Mom's Fruit Dip is definitely a winner!




Monday, June 16, 2008

I've got a job!!

Early this morning I was up in Chino Valley for a job interview, and I was told to expect to hear back on Thursday. I've already been offered 2 other positions that I didn't feel good about taking, but I've felt really good about accepting this one if it is offered to me.
Well... TONIGHT the Principal called me & offered me the position! and ... I accepted!

I'M GOING TO TEACH 4TH GRADE AT TERRITORIAL ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!

I'm pretty excited, & wanted to let everyone know!

Third Offer's the Charm!

Friday, June 13, 2008

Something to brighten my day...

So... I have a summer job as a nanny. I hate it sometimes ... like pretty much every day. The kids are pretty good, and can make it worth while. There's Andrew "Drewsy" who turned 4 the day I started, Matthew "Matty" who turned 3 a few weeks Before I started, and Leticia "Lety" who is now 7 months old. The Mama drives me a bit crazy, and I often find myself cussing at her in my head. Maybe that's more than I should share. But, it's the truth.



Anyway, the other day Matty was putting his shorts back on after using the potty, and this was the result.

He had successfully put both of his legs through ONE leg hole, making it look like he had on a skirt. hee hee. I've actually seen him do this a couple of other times, or ALMOST do it, as he's getting dressed, or pulling shorts back up after potty time.

I was glad to have brought my camera! But I didn't have my memory card, so this was actually the last picture that fit on my internal memory... & thus no pictures of the other 2 for now.

More to come...

Thursday, June 12, 2008

I did it!

Yay!! It's been over a month ago now, but I'm just now getting around to blogging about my GRADUATION!! On May 9, 2008, I graduated from NAU with a B.S. in Elementary Education and a minor in Spanish!



Maybe there isn't a whole lot to blog about, but... I've got some FUN pictures! So... I'll show & tell a little bit.


This first, strange looking picture, is the view I had for all of graduation. The girl in front of me had bright, pink, feathers all around the top of her cap, and around her sleeves too. It was a little obnoxious if you ask me, but it made it easy to answer the text: "Where are you?" "Right behind the girl with the pink." ha ha... and we could see where we were on the giant TV screens, because of the pink.



And the on going text conversation with Mom during the ceremony. "Where Are You? Get up and Dance." "I'm right behind the girl with the pink feathers." "Good, maybe she'll want to dance with you." "ha ha" "No really, do it now or you'll miss your chance." ... Something like that anyway. It made me smile even more.



There was a big group of us from the Christensen Partnership. This is Barry, Devin, Ashley, Emily, me, & Andrea. There were a few more of us, but I haven't gotten a copy of the bigger pictures we took yet.

This is me with one of my Partnership Professors, Jeanne Dustman. She was a great support to me through the two semesters of death that preceded my Student Teaching.



Mom & I. We started celebrating all together when we got outside. Terina & Brent didn't get to stick around for the other celebrations, so this was the best we had with all of us.



This was a favorite, because Trenton was hiding, and Terina quickly ducked, & I snapped... & between our combined efforts I caught a really cute grin on Trenton, & a fun, cheesy grin on Terina. :o)


I really don't think I'm photogenic, but that it's better when I'm in pictures with other people, so... That makes this naturally a favorite, because ... it just is.


I've got more pictures of the parties... one in Flagstaff that day, and one in Chino Valley about a month after, but I'm REALLY tired for now, & I've got to get this posted & get some sleep. Tomorrow it's back to work!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

"I'm so Awkward, Please forgive me..."

Yesterday I was at Terina & Brent's house, working on the dreaded resume & such, along with uploading a TON of pictures from the long & woderful trip to California & Flagstaff. Terina had to go work on some clients, & left me working & working.

At one point, I thought I heard noises downstairs. After listening intently, I decided that it must just be the dogs... OR just house noises, because if it was something ELSE, the dogs certainly would have made me aware. After a while longer, MORE working on icky job application stuff... I heard more noises downstairs. More intent listening, & I was pretty sure someone was home. I texted Terina to ask if she was home. ... No reply. I walked out to the top of the stairs & called out Terina's name, several times. ... No reply.

I went back & kept working, & melting my brain cells, when suddenly I was not left to wonder IF somebody was home, or WHO it might be.

Aparently right at the moment that my sister was talking with a client about how their husbands like to come home from work & get naked, and how awkward & funny it could be if someone was in the home, unbeknownst to them... that very scenario was playing out in my life!

Let's just say that I've never been so glad to have been so focused on a computer before, because it kept the show to an absolute minimum, as my brother-in-law came into his bedroom and wasn't alone like he thought. (I know, it's a perfectly normal thing for a person to be naked in their own home)...

I wasn't sure about sharing this story, but since Brent has publicly proclaimed to be "shocked that his siter-in-law saw him totally naked when she was using the computer in his bedroom without his knowledge."... I figured my story is fair to share.

There were several moments when I wondered if we would ever get past this awkward ordeal, but... then we were normal again, and I was invited to stay for dinner -probably with some intention of preventing permanant scar-age.

*As a side note, Terina DID actually text back: "No, why? what's up"... AFTER I had come to know that she wasn't home. ha ha Timing is everything.

*For Brent's version, go Here.

Friday, May 9, 2008

I Did It!!!!

Graduated, that is.
Yay!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

California... & Getting a new Sister-in-law

Last Friday morning I left my house. I haven't been back yet, and don't expect to get home for several more days. First I headed up to Prescott where I met up with my family & headed west to California. We got there pretty late & met up with Grammy & Seth, who had left earlier with Trenton. Cameron drove all the way to California, and almost into LA (Yeah, we're not going to talk about that)... ;) ... And then I became the LA driver. Almost the whole rest of the trip I drove Mom's car, with only a couple of exceptions.


Saturday, after sleeping in more than we'd planned, we headed to Six Flags to play at Hurricane Harbor. I'm proud of myself for the fear-level of some of the rides that I actually went on. We did really well at applying sunscreen before we left, & re-applying while we were out. After a day at a water park, my family who would usually be sunburned, only had a couple of pink spots.



We went to dinner with all of our family, including Terina & Brent, Grammy, Travis & Stef, & Travis' groomsmen. That was fun times... & really funny to be texting across the table because the group was too big to just have one conversation.

Sunday morning we went over to Santa Monica to meet Travis. Trenton & the kids played on the beach while the rest of us went to the Rehearsal Dinner. That was probably when I really realized that I was actually going to be IN the wedding. After the rehearsal dinner & everything involved in that, the girls all headed up to get our nails done. That was my first ever manicure & pedicure-professional style. It was funny to realize that Stef's Mom was giving me a graduation present too! I looked at the Bridal magazines with Stef. That was a little funny too.

Monday was the day of the first family wedding I've been to. I'm such a cry-baby, & cried as I stood beside the woman who is now my Sister, & my brother's wife. Her Brother became an ordained minister & performed the ceremony, & it was so sweet. He even included some... surprise vows. Vows like: "I will buy you junk food at odd hours of the night. I will watch old black & white movies with you whenever you ask." ... and... "I will close the cupboard doors when you leave them open. I will pick up your dirty clothes when you leave them on the floor." I wish I could have seen Stefanie's face when she had to repeat the one about the cupboards, because from the back it REALLY looked like she was going to refuse to say it. :) The weekend was a huge realization that there are a lot of people out there who know my little brother better than I do. I've seen him just 3 times-ish in the past 3 1/2 years or more, and I miss him. It's cool though, because despite the fact that I know so little of who he is now, & that I really hardly know Stef, I love Travis, & by extension I love Stef. I hope that I can find a way to make them a bigger part of my life. Same thing goes for my other siblings, for that matter, though I have spent much more time with most of them in the past many years than I have with Travis.
Tuesday we spent some time down in Hollywood, then headed home. We left after we knew we should in order to avoid the bulk of the traffic, but somehow it still didn't slow us down too much. Mom wasn't too happy with me keeping up with Trenton for the first leg of the trip, because it definitely dropped our gas mileage. After we filled up with gas I stopped driving, because the tired was kicking in. I slept for a while... after I helped Seth decide to be a good traveler again (because really he IS so good, always). After a while I started staying awake, because Chelsea wasn't doing too good at talking & keeping the driver talking & such. That was about when I got to start hollering at my MOM about her driving. It felt like a role-reversal of the stereotypical. We were all laughing so hard, and that was what made me keep it up. We did get home safe & sound, & tired, last night, even though the tired driving, curvy roads, & hollering gave me heartburn.

Now it's on to other places & things, & dealing with other feelings.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Done!

I Just Finished My LAST Undergraduate FINAL!!! Woo-Hoo! So I wanted to share the joy! Now it's on to Travis & Stef's Wedding, & then Graduation Here I Come!

After that, I guess it's time to find my place in the "real world".
Wish me luck!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Busy, busy BUSY!

I am ALMOST done! I'm almost done teaching already anyway, but I still wouldn't have imagined that these last few weeks could be SO busy. I'm finishing up my big senior capstone paper for resubmition tomorrow, I'm down to 3 more spanish classes & my final, Student Teaching is going to be over sooner than I know (and maybe sooner than I'd like with only about 7 days left!), I will finally be done suffering through my spanish 314 class at ASU, and maybe I'll have a minute to sit down and BREATHE! That is, AFTER Travis & Stef's wedding, the trip involved with that (and the fun yet to be had), and my actual Graduation. :o)

For now I'm still running around like crazy, and working on all I have yet to finish.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

A confession...

So... If you can't tell from the subject, I have a confession to make. Don't worry, I'm not going to bear my soul in a silly text about some horrible thing that I did. This is much simpler, & much sillier than that would be. The truth is, there's this great game called Guitar Hero. ... And I'm kind of addicted. It all started with that stubborn competitiveness of mine that I see sometimes... wanting to beat Ethan at his own game & even at his favorite song. But lately, I play to try & destress. It doesn't really help though. In fact, this week it's going to be the cause of MORE stress because I've been playing instead of working on my big, important paper for my Senior Capstone class... AKA my student teaching class. The paper's due Friday. For now though, I'm exhausted & I've GOT to get some sleep. I'll do the silly paper tomorrow when I'm at ASU. ... So, I hope you still
love me- addictions & all.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Soldier loves me!

Soldier... is my roommate's dog. He's fun... and CRaZy, and... recently he likes to sit on my lap.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

A less silly picture of my old roommates & I...

... OR Maybe this is the MORE silly picture! What do you think?

& Nellers & Kristine too!

Saturday really was a day of fun! After I saw Nikki I met up with Kristine & Danelle-also at the Temple- and went to the Temple with them. Afterward we went to dinner and had some fun times. ... I haven't laughed so much in a long time!

Nikki came to visit!

Nikki is my wonderful, former roommate. We shared an awesome year in Flagstaff together, and in December I gracefully stepped aside as her favorite when she got married to a man who is very good to her. They came down, and even though I only got to see her for a little minute, it brightened my stressful Saturday at the end of a stressful week.
I Love Nikki!

The good stuff

Life is beautiful. It just is. And I just need to remember that. Seth is out of the hospital. Mac is doing well. He's working hard, and he loves me. I'm pulling a solid B in my spanish class. Things are coming together as I'm teaching in my student teaching placement. I had a screening interview today with MPS. I passed the AEPA, even though the day I took it I was sick, and it was moving day. My roommate's dog loves me. My lesson plan for Monday's observation is done. My week is planned out. My bed is painted and ready to be put together. Nikki is in Mesa right now. Danelle and Kristine are comming and staying with me tonight. I'm going to the Temple with Danelle tonight. I'm out of my boxes (almost ALL the way) and today is March first, which was my goal. I've been sleeping in my own bed and not waking up hurting.

Life is beautiful.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

A weekend in Flagstaff

LOTS of Snow!!
I spent the weekend up in Flagstaff, and YAY for a ton of snow! This was fun, but just wait until I can get the picture up here of Scout and I STANDING in this ginormous snow drift in the Duttons backyard. It makes me happy... especially since it's summer here (or FEELS like summer here... which is depressing since it's going to get something-like-30 degrees hotter still!)

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Everything...

not being good enough
Student teaching
All-day when I can't get one or two subjects right
long days
planning
prep. time
spanish class
homework
reading
busy work
presentations and papers
does she teach us anything or just facilitate busy activities?
institute
is he really teaching? or just trying to show us how much he knows
chuch
not doing all that I need to and want to do
knowing hardly anyone
not being known by one person
am I doing everything for the right reasons or just going through the motions?
finances
body stuff
needing to see the doctor
words that are hard to say
feeling all alone in the world
worries that shouldn't be mine until years from now
hoping to learn through the experiences of those I love
always tired
exhaustion
running
needing to run
finding a job
graduating
trying to be "promising" enough for Rodel
feeling broken

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Smaller Circles

My last post was titled "It's a Small World"... and sometimes it really feels really small.

I've moved to this big city, but it seems like my world has shrunk. The milage on my car would indicate that my world has gotten much larger- I drove 350 miles in two weeks down here, without going on a trip or anything! I don't have as many people in my life, and I don't go as many places. This is what my world includes right now:
  1. Home (the New House)
  2. The Blue House (Where I just moved from and visit occasionally)
  3. Eisenhower Elementary School -more specifically room A4
  4. ASU Art building -Where I have my spanish class. Also the computing commons.
  5. Tempe Institute
  6. Mesa Arizona Temple
  7. Church -which is so new that it doesn't quite feel like it's widening my world-especially with going there only once a week
  8. and recently added to this list on a more frequent basis is Terina & Brent's house.
  9. Today I also went to the gym, and I want to make that a regular place in my week.

Probably part of what makes everything seem so small is that both of my roommates went to Hawaii last week and are gone until Tuesday morning, so it's just me in our big, new house. They'll be back soon though, so I'm glad. The other hard part is that I can NOT do the college kid schedule anymore. My mornings start early, some days I don't get home until pretty late, and I'm always tired! I'm usually feeling ready to wrap up the night by 8:00 lately (probably partly because I've been sick for the past week) or by 9:00, and all of the hanging out and such usually happens around that time or even later.

Here's to broadening circles, making friends, and being happy and productive in what I'm here to do.

Monday, January 21, 2008

It's a small small world.

So... These are two of my friends who randomly met at a concert they were singing in. Then they managed to find me as a common link, so they took this picture & sent it to me.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Thoughts from a "Great-Grandma"

I found some WONDERFUL thoughts from my (mission) Great-Grandma. As I read them, it made me feel like she and I are kindred spirits. That is the same thing that I felt the first time that I actually met this amazing girl, while I was still a missionary in Pennsylvania, and she was back to visit. I hope she doesn't mind me sharing some of the thoughts that she shared, that touched me.

Go and Do: Fighting Spiritual Atrophy

10:01am Sunday, May 27, 2007
I know I said that I would post the talk I gave last week, but it is not yet coherent in written form . I usually write half of my talk and ramble for the rest. It needs some help! Here is a talk I gave in January to tide you over.
When I gave this talk the Bishop had asked me to speak on "whatever I thought the ward needed to hear". Ah! Talk about pressure! So I wrote it down. I had never written out a whole talk before. This is what came out: Go and Do! Fighting Spiritual Apathy
There is a story that I once heard about Socrates. A young man came to him near a lake and asked Socrates to teach him how to acquire wisdom. Socrates grabbed the man and plunged his head under the water. As the young man struggled for his life, Socrates continued to forcibly hold him under the water. Finally, Socrates let him up to breathe, and when the man, gasping for breath, asked why Socrates nearly drowned him, Socrates replied, “When your desire for wisdom is as great as your desire to breathe, then you will find wisdom.”
There is a scripture that most of us know and many of us can even sing that is found in 1 Nephi 3:7. In it, Nephi declares “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded.”He had no questions, no reservations. I am sure that his desire to follow the Lord was greater even than his desire for breath.
I wonder if we can say the same thing. I know that I want to serve the Lord, but I often wonder if that desire is being manifested through my actions. We cannot simply have a desire gain to spiritual wisdom and expect to learn all the mysteries of Heaven. We must go and do, we must act on that desire and prove ourselves worthy to receive the knowledge and blessings that the Lord has planned for us.
Today, we are facing an epidemic of spiritual atrophy. So many members know that the gospel is true, but they don’t know the gospel. In John 17:3 we read that “…this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom though hast sent.” Not that “they may believe in God”, but that they might know him. And the only way to truly come to know the Lord is to follow him. I believe that one of the most profound sermons the Savior ever taught was delivered in 3 simple words. “Come follow me.” We must learn of Him and do his will. Many have received a witness that the gospel is true but they haven’t paid the price for the privilege to live the gospel. Have you ever through about it that way? It takes sacrifice, but it is a privilege. A privilege to not hang out too late or to end a date early so you won’t get into trouble, to turn off the T.V. if the programming isn’t appropriate, to leave the dance if it gets a bit too crazy, to get to bed early, to get up early, to admit you were wrong, or perhaps to forgive someone who has wronged you. If we don’t live up to these privileges, how can we ever expect to receive the blessings that have been promised us?
I know that, at least for me, there was a time when I was younger that being strictly obedient was a great deal easier. No, I will not drink coffee. No, I will not watch an R rated movie. But now, even though things are still just as black and white as they ever were, Satan has convinced us to see them as gray. We are bombarded on every side, every minute of every day with sins that have become normal and acceptable. We are exposed to R rated material everywhere we look: on T.V, on the internet, in video games and we have begun to think that being desensitized equals being strong and when we think that we let our guard down.
In October Conference of 1986 Gordon B. Hinckley said, “We cannot be unclean and expect the help of the almighty. You cannot afford to partake of things that will weaken your minds and your bodies…You cannot do these things and be valiant warriors in the cause of the Lord. We are engaged in a great eternal struggle that concerns the very souls of the sons and daughters of God. We are not losing. We are winning. We will continue to win if we will be faithful and true. We can do it. We must do it and we will do it.”
This valiant attitude reminds me of one of my favorite Book of Mormon heroes, Captain Moroni. He was so faithful, so dedicated, so passionate. He was strictly obedient. He knew that was the only way his people could survive, only if they were obedient to the commandments of the Lord. We know that although he did not delight in bloodshed he had sworn an oath to defend his people, his rights, and his country, and his religion, even to the loss of his blood. He would not be still and watch his people be over come by the powers of evil. He never rested. He fought always for peace and religious freedom. Even in times of peace Moroni fortified cities, and built up defenses. We too must build up our defenses; we must fight as Captain Moroni fought.
I often think that living in Utah Valley gives us the illusion of living in peace. We have our testimonies, but we don’t necessarily feel the need to fight for them, or to fight for those that we love. “We are all Mormon here; we will be ok, right?” It becomes so easy to turn into a spiritual couch potato. Life gets busy, school, work, friends, finding an eternal companion. These things take time. So we justify. Perhaps we leave church early, skip the temple for a week, or a month, or a year, or maybe we don’t do our home or visiting teaching. It’s not that important right? Well, I can do this, it isn’t really wrong and it is just for now. And soon laziness turns into forgetfulness.
When I was serving my mission in Delaware we saw the effects of this behavior. There were several very good families who had come to the US from Mexico to work and earn money for their families. They would work every Sunday and soon missing church led to missing scripture study, FHE, prayers, and they began to forget. We would review the story of Joseph Smith and they would strain to try and remember just how the story went. If we don’t use what we have been given it will atrophy and it will die. Then we are left defenseless. Today the enemy is ruthless and just as relentless and just as real as the one Captain Moroni and his people faced. My dear Brothers and Sisters this is not casual warfare and this is definitely not a time of peace. I wonder if we would stand still for a moment, if we could see how the hosts of the enemy are tearing down those around us. The slaughter is immense. We must not stand idly by! Let’s give our all to the Lord. Don’t be afraid. I promise you that He will care for you. He will bless you in school, at work, in your social life. It doesn’t have to happen all at once but you can start today. And it is alright if it makes you a little bit different. Neal A Maxwell once said, “Be different from the world to make a difference in the world.” I might even add “Be different from the world to make a difference in your world.”
I know that as we follow the Lord he will bless and defend us and those that we serve and love. I love this gospel, I love the Lord and I love each one of you. I know this church is true and I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.


What have I been missing? Part II

12:29am Sunday, Jun 3, 2007
Another thought from institute:If the Lord knows that the very trial you are facing is the one that you will need for exaltation, He will not take it from you.He loves you too much. I have heard this one before. Still, every time I hear it, it hits me so deeply. At first I don't know if I should feel complemented, or sigh and resign myself to the horrendous process of exaltation. Then I am struck with how personal this thought is. The Lord know exactly what I need to become who He would have me be and He is not going to "save" me from that by taking away my trials. He can see the end from the beginning and knows that I will make it through, I love to look to that thought.
Supplemental material to my thoughts:
Enos 1:27(What we have to look forward to)
And I soon go to the place of my rest, which is with my Redeemer; for I know that in him I shall rest. And I rejoice in the day when my mortal shall put on immortality, and shall stand before him; then shall I see his face with pleasure, and he will say unto me: Come unto me, ye blessed, there is a place prepared for you in the mansions of my Father. Amen.
One of the best talks I have ever read. It is especially applicable to this subject:"Finding a Safe Harbor" Elder Wirthlin May Ensign 2000


What Have I Been Missing? Part III

5:22pm Sunday, Jun 10, 2007
Institute was amazing once again. I learned a lot of things this week, but what struck me the most was not something that we talked about in class. When we were reading in Matthew 15, something on the other side of the page caught my attention. I hope you don’t mind if I just walk you through some verses and the thoughts that occurred to me as I looked over them.Matthew Chapter 14 24 But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary.25 And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea.When the Savior walked on water, it was not on a day when the weather was calm and the water was smooth. The disciples had been rowing the better part of the night and the Savior could still walk out as far as they had gone. When Peter asked to come out to him, it was not a smooth sea that paved the way to the Savior, the wind was “boisterous” and the waves must have been high. 26 And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear.27 But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.28 And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.I love how impulsive Peter was. It got him into trouble sometimes, but he was always so willing.29 And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.30 But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.31 And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?“Why did you doubt yourself? I knew you could do it.”The Savior wasn’t angry, nor was he belittling Peter in anyway. He was telling him not to fear, that he could believe in himself and in his own ability. He was reminding him that with the Lord all things are possible and he need not fear his own weakness. Peter did not doubt the Lord. He asked the Lord to bid him come and he got out of the boat, in the midst of the storm, and he walked on the water. It was not until he focused on his own inability and weakness that he fell. And yet, even as he fell, he looked to the Savior and cried out for help.“Why did you doubt yourself? I knew you could do it.”As we read on, we can discover a tender moment that I think is somehow always overlooked in this story:32 And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased.“…when they were come into the ship...” They walked back together. The Savior took him up, out of the water, and they walked back together. I have heard this story a thousand times. This time it was different. I love that.
One of my companions on my mission gave me this quote that I think it goes along well with this:“The Lord doesn’t ask us about our ability, only our availability.”
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.


Sunset

1:21am Saturday, Aug 18, 2007
I don't think that sunsets are supposed to be hopeful. They slowly sink away into the dusk, dragging the light of day into oblivion, smothering any last spark of sunlight that would struggle to illuminate the last corners of the Earth until all is bathed in quiet moonlight. They are not supposed to be hopeful. Sunsets speak of death, not birth. And yet to me they speak of hope, as audibly as a dear friend reassuring me that the dark night is always followed by the dawn. That the sun will always rise tomorrow. We can always look to the sun. The night may be dark, it may obstruct our vision, but we can still see in the dark. We just see things differently. We can enjoy the night, we can breathe in the clean air of the madrugada(the morning hours, the twilight hours) and know that soon those same strangled rays of light that died just hours ago will find new birth as the sun rises again over the darkened skies. I see hope in the brilliant death of day. The colors, the feelings, the farewell that ignites the sky every night, even if we are not aware. I love to see the sun set.


How I Know God Loves Me

2:30pm Thursday, Sep 6, 2007
Just the other evening I was eating oranges like apples with my friends and one of said friends made a very profound comment. "Don't think I am weird,' said he, 'but this is how I know God loves me." I didn't think it was weird. I thought it was true. Sometimes the Lord shows His love is small, almost silly ways. So, since that evening (and it was not so long ago), I have been on the look out for the ways that the Lord shows me He loves me. I found one that was sillier than eating oranges like apples. It was a rigor mortised raccoon. I kid you not. I was on my way to work and I saw a little raccoon lying on the side of the road on University Parkway. The raccoon's little arm was stuck straight up in the air, so was it's leg. It was almost as if the raccoon was performing and extending his spirit fingers and toes with all his might. The whole morbidly adorable scene was perfected by the look on the raccoon's face. It's eyes and mouth were wide open and it looked like the biggest smile I have ever seen on anyone's face. When I saw that smile, I knew God loved me. I was in desperate need of a laugh that morning and if I could feel like I was cared for just by seeing a dead raccoon, I don't think it's so bad to laugh. Weird, yes, but sometimes that is just the way things go.