Friday, February 4, 2011
Figured out the WHY...
"I don't know WHY I'm going to Yuma, ... But I am pretty sure that I'm supposed to go to Yuma."
People really did ask me "WHY Yuma???". All those question marks in their voices & everything. I really, REALLY didn't know WHY.
Just because I couldn't understand what was bringing me here, I wasn't coming here blindly. The only thing I really had was the strong feeling that I was doing the right thing with my life. I stepped forward into the darkness with faith, & although it sometimes falters & I know I'm so weak, I have found great blessings awaiting me. God is great, & I love to feel His love.
I've discovered the answer to all those questioning words. By coming to Yuma, I met the man I'll spend the rest of my life & forever with. He loves me for me. He loves me despite ALL my faults & quirks & struggles. He loves me when I cry, & especially when I laugh. He has ALWAYS been so patient with me, ALWAYS supported me, & loves to be my adventure buddy! I want to spend my time with him, & he loves to be with me. He even reserves the Zelda marathons for when I'm so occupied with other things that I'm not much fun to hang out with anyway. ;o) I love him. I love so much about him, especially his great heart.
When I was moving to Yuma, I never, ever imagined that Yuma would hand me a piece of my Forever... a VERY important piece of Forever! But it has.
More that I read:
"To be perfectly honest, changes can still be hard for me. ... I'm scared, but excited! Yuma may or may not melt my brains out, that is yet to be determined. BUT, I know that Yuma will hold many adventures & hopefully a lot of growing experiences!"
Well, changes are STILL hard for me, & this coming year holds more than I can count right now! (I only teach 2nd grade, we don't have to count THAT high...) I find myself again scared, but most definitely excited! Has Yuma succeeded at melting my brains out?? Well, It's easier to say no right now, when our temperatures have actually been dropping below freezing, but NO. I still have pretty good brain power, despite the early & strong allergies I'm fighting at the moment. Is it hot? A resounding YES! Will it kill me? NO, especially knowing that by the time the rest of the world is remembering what FALL is like, we'll be moving somewhere new.
Has Yuma presented me with adventures & growing experiences?? HECK YES! The adventures I/we have had already, have been fantastic, & I'm sure what's coming right around the corner is going to be even more exciting & adventuresome! As for growing, I know I've got SO far to go, but if preparing to join your life with someone else's, & planning for Forever, & talking about your very own home & family doesn't stretch you & help you learn more about yourself & that special one you love, then I don't know what will. AND, if that doesn't do it, then the kids I love to teach, even the most "Special" of them, will most definitely stretch me, & require me to learn, to grow, & to become a better me.
So, to sum up these rambled thoughts, I guess I just have to say, Here's to Yuma! & Here's to all kinds of new & exciting changes!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Our Story - Bedtime Story Style
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful Princess who moved away from home. She felt lost & alone, & a little scared, but only on the inside, because she was trying to have a great new adventure! Then, on her travels she met a Warrior. Now, this new land she called home was HOT, very very hot. But the Warrior was hotter than even the hottest day. He was strong & brave, & very happy to meet the new Princess. And she was happy to meet him too. The Princess was admittedly hesitant, having dealt with some major spells of heartache & several 'idiots in tin foil' in the previous year. But she decided to give this Warrior a chance... or two. As she kept getting to know him she began to fall in love with him, because he knew he loved her a long time before he told her so. The Warrior fell more quickly & easily than the Princess, but he was patient with her. She went away on a voyage to far away lands that she loved, & while she was gone, she began to understand the tender feelings in her heart for this brave Warrior who was already in love with her, (even knowing the good & the more difficult things about her). When she returned from her voyage, she told him that she loved him too. And when she did, he was so happy, that this brave Warrior's smile shone like the smile of a little boy on Christmas morning! :)
He always knew what he would do next. So late one night, he got down on one knee, told the Princess of his love for her & how it would last forever, and asked the beautiful Princess to be his Queen. The Princess knew what the Warrior was thinking before he asked that big question, but she was still a little slower, dissappointing him that night, & requiring his patience again as she made him wait. So while he waited, the Warrior prepared all his armor, as spiffy & shiny as could be, & took the Princess to a special warrior ceremony. He took the Princess to a ball! The Princess was so excited! But... they didn't dance at the ball. Good thing for the Warrior that the Princess was satisfied with dancing in her cottage, instead of at the ball. In fact, it made her smile.
Then they went to a big, white castle. They planned this voyage with the Warrior's visiting parents, & with a handmaiden or two. The voyage was for all of them, but the Princess went with a special quest. She looked forward to their visit to the great white castle, & decided that there she was going to answer that warrior's proposal, even though she wasn't yet SURE of the answer, like she hoped to be. As they traveled upon the Warrior's white stallion to the glorious castle, the Princess kept seeking the guidance of her kind, wise Father. Even as they arrived, the princess was seeking the answer.
As they went into the castle to be instructed by the kind, wise Father, & the Princess was indeed taught! First as they entered, one of the guards spoke to the Warrior of great blessings and answers to be found in the Father's castle that day. Next, a kind guide in the castle spoke to the Princess & the Warrior of how he could see their sweet love, & how great it was for them to be visiting the kind Father that day with the Warrior's parents. The Princess hear those words deep inside her heart, as his words stirred her tender feelings, & the Warrior held her hand. The same guard also spoke with the Warrior's parents later, before the instructions were recieved, & the Princess again overheard, feeling sweet & tender feelings repeated as the guide spoke to the parents. As they were instructed, the kind, wise Father spoke to the heart of the Princess. Her emotions overflowed, & her tears made the Warrior worry. But the tears weren't sad tears. Not at all! They came from being reminded of the kind Father's infinite & individual love, & from words that seemed to be spoken just for the Princess in response to her quest, by guides & helpers who didn't even know there WAS a quest.
As the Warrior was waiting for the Princess in the Grand Hall (& worrying about her tears & what her answer might be), he talked with his parents, & the Princess tried to dry her tears so she could go talk with her Knight in shining, white armor. When at last the Warrior & the Princess were reunited, they embraced, & sat together. As the Princess laid her head on the Warrior's shoulder, she calmed down, & turned to whisper in his ear, one word. A simple word that would effect forever. "YES." She started crying again, & the Warrior wanted to shout for joy right then & there, but instead he just kissed the Princess & hugged her tighter.
The Princess had a hard time containing her emotions, & at this point was worried she'd pass out from lack of nourishment... which brought her emotions that much closer to the surface. The Princess & the Warrior told the Warrior's parents & they all embraced, then the parents left- the Warrior's Father strutting proudly from the room. He was so pleased that everyone could see it. As soon as they left the castle, they began to spread the word of their upcoming marriage! Some of the carrier pidgeons though, weren't very fast, or effective, & some of the royal court became offended at their slow announcements. Still they continued to tell their courts & handmaidens & neighbors, & friends!
But that, my friends, is just the BEGINNING. ;o)
Thursday, July 1, 2010
101 Things I Can Count On...
99. I can do & be better.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
General Conference!
A little bit of writing...
Friday, May 7, 2010
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Another Chapter of My Life Comes to an End.

This post could probably be very long, & has certainly become long overdue, but I think I'll keep it short, if possible.
For those of you who knew I was planning on marrying Mac Dutton, the long story-short is that now, I am not.
Because I haven't been good at journaling, & because I probably need to allow myself feel the emotions, I'll try to write a little bit of the story ... the beautiful disaster my life has been in the past 2-3 months. (Although at times it becomes harder to see the "beautiful" & easier to see the "disaster".)
Mac came home from the California Oakland mission on August 1st. I was BEYOND excited to see him & be with him again, & happy to begin the rest of our life together. After seeing him for just a couple of days, I cried to think of going home & only having weekends together. ... If I had only known how much I would cry in the weeks to come, I'd have WISHED for that to be the only hurt in my heart.
It didn't take long for life to turn into a roller coaster, driven mostly by that man who had my heart. Many days I wasn't sure if I was rising or falling, but knew I wasn't at the highest or lowest point of that roller coaster.
The "Play Book" of Plans might tell the story better than I can on my own.
Plan A. Happily Ever After
Mac & I begin dating between my mission & his, & fall in love. I go with my heart & wait as he served the Lord for 2 years. I live by this quote: "Contrary to what the cynics say, distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough." We fall more in love as the distance makes us stronger. Letters deepen our love as he tells me of dreams he has of our children, & hopes for our future, & we talk of when we'll begin our "forever" together. I come to feel at home in the Dutton family, build family relationships as I share in many special moments & love them all. Friendships are made that will last a lifetime. We get married & live "happily ever after".
(I guess after that, I should interject that these became the plans that came into our "playbook", but only one could become our reality.)
Plan B. for Break-up
Mac decides he's confused beyond what he can handle with life home from the mission, & I am the only confusing thing he can get rid of. He calls me on the day that marks 32 months since our relationship began (yeah, that's 2 years 8 months- more than 1/10 of my lifetime, which means MORE of his) & he breaks my heart, yet again. (We had 2 break-ups pre-Mac's-mission, but I thought that those choices on his behalf could only make me love & respect him more.) Not what I was expecting, having not been aware of anything more than Plan A, & some distance I was beginning to feel in our relationship as I tried to give him space to work out his confusion.
Plan C. Dating-ish
(Came about because I could not find peace about breaking up, & went to Flagstaff to talk to Mac about it. When he couldn't tell me that breaking up with me had given him the peace he was trying to find, we settled on "Plan C.")
This plan is, in theory, us still dating each other, but dating other people too, see how things go, & figure it out. I should have known that this plan would be extremely difficult for me, & would hurt, because my heart was fully invested in this man I'd so long given all of my heart to.
It seemed to me that Plan C became Mac calling me his girlfriend whenever he wanted to, but the rest of the time he was single & free, & I was essentially ignored. I couldn't do this plan. It felt like we were simply cheating on each other. I came to feel a strong need to tell Mac not to bother kissing me or telling me that he loved me until he chose me, that if he was dating other girls & me, neither they nor I deserved to be treated with that disrespect. I was going to tell him that if he loved me, he should have eyes only for me, & if he was confused he needed to figure it out so we could either work togther or so I could get on with my life & find a man who will love only me, & will choose only me... I don't deserve to cry anymore because the man I had loved & only been faithful to could not decide on the answer he had told me he had repeatedly received. I did take the opportunity to tell him these things, as part of our final conversation.
Less than a month after we had decided on Plan C, Mac finally told me, over chat, that he thought "we should go back to Plan B." This after he had ignored me for much of the "Plan C" time, & completely ignored me for my birthday & most of the week surrounding it. We hadn't been on any dates together during "Plan C" (we only had one after his mission, while we were still going with Plan A.), but had both found dates separately. Without any kind of explanation, we reached the end of our chapter. As much as it hurt (& still does at times), I found that overall, it hurt(s) less to just lose someone, than to love them & be ignored in return.
A couple of things that express so many of my feelings, that I'd like to share...
The pain comes in waves...
An explanation about experiencing loss that was perfect to me, from Donna Lawyer.
"Like waves those moments come. At first with the power to knock you off your feet, and you fear drowning in the sorrow. Little by little the waves have less strength and are fewer and further between. Then sometimes they seem to knock you down unexpectedly. Then go back to the pattern of less and less. Till you are ready to move to a different place..."
I am beyond grateful to certain friends & loved ones who have been my strength when I have felt nothing but broken.
Thanks especially to Donna for sharing your profound thoughts with me & allowing me to share your words, as they put my feelings into coherent thoughts.
This also came from Donna Lawyer, & her grandaughter, Sarah Peterson. It too expressed the feelings of my heart perfectly.
"It's not having them walk away without reason; it's not the hurt you felt when they began to ignore you; it's not the betrayal you feel when you realize what they told you was a lie; it's not the lonliness that replaces the passion whne they denounce their claim on you; it's knowing that somehow, in some way, you weren't good enough. But after night, comes day." -Sarah Peterson
"Perhaps what they said was not a lie, but was only for the moment; only temporary, like a butterfly sits upon one's shoulder then flits away to another bright flower...Not "good enough" in their eyes. What do they know of flowers? Only boquets to be set upon a table, to look upon as one passes by... to adorn their lives but never to keep." -Donna Lawyer
"For every tear shed, hope is kindled; for every heart broken, the dawn comes; the world still turns, the flowers still bloom, the rain still falls, the wind still whispers, the stars still wink and laugh at you, and life goes on." - Sarah Peterson
"Yes, and for every thought that pierces your heart, comes healing. And for every loss that floods your mind with its pain, there is still that hope, that knowing, that a new path will open on the horizon of tomorrow; flower strewn." - Donna Lawyer
As my life became a roller coaster, even before "Plan B" or "Plan C" came into existance, I found a new favorite song, that still gives me strength. It's called "Strengthen My Faith" written by Tyler Castleton & sung by Dave Kimball
" In my weakness
I come to you with a prayer in my heart
Humbly yearning
Seeking for guidance to know where to start
You know my soul & my honest desire
Build from this flame an unquenchable fire
Bless me & strengthen my faith
Guide me & light up my way
You touched the blind man & gave him his sight
And You blessed the widow who offered her mite
Please bless my faith
Bless my faith
as I seek to know You & follow Your ways
Bless me & strengthen my faith
When I listen
You can remind me what I've always known
That as I follow
I learn to trust in the love You have shown
Striving to follow the simplist truths
I'm doing my best & then trusting in You
Bless me & strengthen my faith
Prove me in every way
You called to Lazarus "rise from the dead"
When You saw the faith and the tears that were shed
Please bless my faith
Oh, bless my faith
As I seek to know You and walk in Your ways
Bless me and strengthen my faith
As I seek to know You and follow Your ways
Bless me and strengthen my faith
As I seek to know You and follow Your ways
Bless me and strength my faith"
And He does. I know He has felt each pain, & all my suffering. And because He has, He understands perfectly what I feel, & He strengthens me in my weakness.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
The Joy of New Life!
Croix James Maldonado was born yesterday, August 24, 2009 at 5:26 pm. He is perfect at 6 lb. 9 ounces & 20 inches long!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
General Conference
I LOVE it!
Tomorrow I get 2 more sessions!
Saturday, October 4, 2008
The long awaited announcement!!
Here's a couple of links to the articles:
Five new Temples announced: http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/news-releases-stories/church-continues-temple-building-throughout-the-world
Specific to Philly: http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/news-releases-stories/first-temple-announced-in-philadelphia-pennsylvania
Yay! I was so grateful to hear that announcement, & to be sitting with Amber Lopez when we heard it. The Lord is good, & has heard our prayers. This is a Joyful day!
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Thoughts from a "Great-Grandma"
Go and Do: Fighting Spiritual Atrophy
10:01am Sunday, May 27, 2007
I know I said that I would post the talk I gave last week, but it is not yet coherent in written form . I usually write half of my talk and ramble for the rest. It needs some help! Here is a talk I gave in January to tide you over.
When I gave this talk the Bishop had asked me to speak on "whatever I thought the ward needed to hear". Ah! Talk about pressure! So I wrote it down. I had never written out a whole talk before. This is what came out: Go and Do! Fighting Spiritual Apathy
There is a story that I once heard about Socrates. A young man came to him near a lake and asked Socrates to teach him how to acquire wisdom. Socrates grabbed the man and plunged his head under the water. As the young man struggled for his life, Socrates continued to forcibly hold him under the water. Finally, Socrates let him up to breathe, and when the man, gasping for breath, asked why Socrates nearly drowned him, Socrates replied, “When your desire for wisdom is as great as your desire to breathe, then you will find wisdom.”
There is a scripture that most of us know and many of us can even sing that is found in 1 Nephi 3:7. In it, Nephi declares “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded.”He had no questions, no reservations. I am sure that his desire to follow the Lord was greater even than his desire for breath.
I wonder if we can say the same thing. I know that I want to serve the Lord, but I often wonder if that desire is being manifested through my actions. We cannot simply have a desire gain to spiritual wisdom and expect to learn all the mysteries of Heaven. We must go and do, we must act on that desire and prove ourselves worthy to receive the knowledge and blessings that the Lord has planned for us.
Today, we are facing an epidemic of spiritual atrophy. So many members know that the gospel is true, but they don’t know the gospel. In John 17:3 we read that “…this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom though hast sent.” Not that “they may believe in God”, but that they might know him. And the only way to truly come to know the Lord is to follow him. I believe that one of the most profound sermons the Savior ever taught was delivered in 3 simple words. “Come follow me.” We must learn of Him and do his will. Many have received a witness that the gospel is true but they haven’t paid the price for the privilege to live the gospel. Have you ever through about it that way? It takes sacrifice, but it is a privilege. A privilege to not hang out too late or to end a date early so you won’t get into trouble, to turn off the T.V. if the programming isn’t appropriate, to leave the dance if it gets a bit too crazy, to get to bed early, to get up early, to admit you were wrong, or perhaps to forgive someone who has wronged you. If we don’t live up to these privileges, how can we ever expect to receive the blessings that have been promised us?
I know that, at least for me, there was a time when I was younger that being strictly obedient was a great deal easier. No, I will not drink coffee. No, I will not watch an R rated movie. But now, even though things are still just as black and white as they ever were, Satan has convinced us to see them as gray. We are bombarded on every side, every minute of every day with sins that have become normal and acceptable. We are exposed to R rated material everywhere we look: on T.V, on the internet, in video games and we have begun to think that being desensitized equals being strong and when we think that we let our guard down.
In October Conference of 1986 Gordon B. Hinckley said, “We cannot be unclean and expect the help of the almighty. You cannot afford to partake of things that will weaken your minds and your bodies…You cannot do these things and be valiant warriors in the cause of the Lord. We are engaged in a great eternal struggle that concerns the very souls of the sons and daughters of God. We are not losing. We are winning. We will continue to win if we will be faithful and true. We can do it. We must do it and we will do it.”
This valiant attitude reminds me of one of my favorite Book of Mormon heroes, Captain Moroni. He was so faithful, so dedicated, so passionate. He was strictly obedient. He knew that was the only way his people could survive, only if they were obedient to the commandments of the Lord. We know that although he did not delight in bloodshed he had sworn an oath to defend his people, his rights, and his country, and his religion, even to the loss of his blood. He would not be still and watch his people be over come by the powers of evil. He never rested. He fought always for peace and religious freedom. Even in times of peace Moroni fortified cities, and built up defenses. We too must build up our defenses; we must fight as Captain Moroni fought.
I often think that living in Utah Valley gives us the illusion of living in peace. We have our testimonies, but we don’t necessarily feel the need to fight for them, or to fight for those that we love. “We are all Mormon here; we will be ok, right?” It becomes so easy to turn into a spiritual couch potato. Life gets busy, school, work, friends, finding an eternal companion. These things take time. So we justify. Perhaps we leave church early, skip the temple for a week, or a month, or a year, or maybe we don’t do our home or visiting teaching. It’s not that important right? Well, I can do this, it isn’t really wrong and it is just for now. And soon laziness turns into forgetfulness.
When I was serving my mission in Delaware we saw the effects of this behavior. There were several very good families who had come to the US from Mexico to work and earn money for their families. They would work every Sunday and soon missing church led to missing scripture study, FHE, prayers, and they began to forget. We would review the story of Joseph Smith and they would strain to try and remember just how the story went. If we don’t use what we have been given it will atrophy and it will die. Then we are left defenseless. Today the enemy is ruthless and just as relentless and just as real as the one Captain Moroni and his people faced. My dear Brothers and Sisters this is not casual warfare and this is definitely not a time of peace. I wonder if we would stand still for a moment, if we could see how the hosts of the enemy are tearing down those around us. The slaughter is immense. We must not stand idly by! Let’s give our all to the Lord. Don’t be afraid. I promise you that He will care for you. He will bless you in school, at work, in your social life. It doesn’t have to happen all at once but you can start today. And it is alright if it makes you a little bit different. Neal A Maxwell once said, “Be different from the world to make a difference in the world.” I might even add “Be different from the world to make a difference in your world.”
I know that as we follow the Lord he will bless and defend us and those that we serve and love. I love this gospel, I love the Lord and I love each one of you. I know this church is true and I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
What have I been missing? Part II
12:29am Sunday, Jun 3, 2007
Another thought from institute:If the Lord knows that the very trial you are facing is the one that you will need for exaltation, He will not take it from you.He loves you too much. I have heard this one before. Still, every time I hear it, it hits me so deeply. At first I don't know if I should feel complemented, or sigh and resign myself to the horrendous process of exaltation. Then I am struck with how personal this thought is. The Lord know exactly what I need to become who He would have me be and He is not going to "save" me from that by taking away my trials. He can see the end from the beginning and knows that I will make it through, I love to look to that thought.
Supplemental material to my thoughts:
Enos 1:27(What we have to look forward to)
And I soon go to the place of my rest, which is with my Redeemer; for I know that in him I shall rest. And I rejoice in the day when my mortal shall put on immortality, and shall stand before him; then shall I see his face with pleasure, and he will say unto me: Come unto me, ye blessed, there is a place prepared for you in the mansions of my Father. Amen.
One of the best talks I have ever read. It is especially applicable to this subject:"Finding a Safe Harbor" Elder Wirthlin May Ensign 2000
What Have I Been Missing? Part III
5:22pm Sunday, Jun 10, 2007
Institute was amazing once again. I learned a lot of things this week, but what struck me the most was not something that we talked about in class. When we were reading in Matthew 15, something on the other side of the page caught my attention. I hope you don’t mind if I just walk you through some verses and the thoughts that occurred to me as I looked over them.Matthew Chapter 14 24 But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary.25 And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea.When the Savior walked on water, it was not on a day when the weather was calm and the water was smooth. The disciples had been rowing the better part of the night and the Savior could still walk out as far as they had gone. When Peter asked to come out to him, it was not a smooth sea that paved the way to the Savior, the wind was “boisterous” and the waves must have been high. 26 And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear.27 But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.28 And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.I love how impulsive Peter was. It got him into trouble sometimes, but he was always so willing.29 And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.30 But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.31 And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?“Why did you doubt yourself? I knew you could do it.”The Savior wasn’t angry, nor was he belittling Peter in anyway. He was telling him not to fear, that he could believe in himself and in his own ability. He was reminding him that with the Lord all things are possible and he need not fear his own weakness. Peter did not doubt the Lord. He asked the Lord to bid him come and he got out of the boat, in the midst of the storm, and he walked on the water. It was not until he focused on his own inability and weakness that he fell. And yet, even as he fell, he looked to the Savior and cried out for help.“Why did you doubt yourself? I knew you could do it.”As we read on, we can discover a tender moment that I think is somehow always overlooked in this story:32 And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased.“…when they were come into the ship...” They walked back together. The Savior took him up, out of the water, and they walked back together. I have heard this story a thousand times. This time it was different. I love that.
One of my companions on my mission gave me this quote that I think it goes along well with this:“The Lord doesn’t ask us about our ability, only our availability.”
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Sunset
1:21am Saturday, Aug 18, 2007
I don't think that sunsets are supposed to be hopeful. They slowly sink away into the dusk, dragging the light of day into oblivion, smothering any last spark of sunlight that would struggle to illuminate the last corners of the Earth until all is bathed in quiet moonlight. They are not supposed to be hopeful. Sunsets speak of death, not birth. And yet to me they speak of hope, as audibly as a dear friend reassuring me that the dark night is always followed by the dawn. That the sun will always rise tomorrow. We can always look to the sun. The night may be dark, it may obstruct our vision, but we can still see in the dark. We just see things differently. We can enjoy the night, we can breathe in the clean air of the madrugada(the morning hours, the twilight hours) and know that soon those same strangled rays of light that died just hours ago will find new birth as the sun rises again over the darkened skies. I see hope in the brilliant death of day. The colors, the feelings, the farewell that ignites the sky every night, even if we are not aware. I love to see the sun set.
How I Know God Loves Me
2:30pm Thursday, Sep 6, 2007
Just the other evening I was eating oranges like apples with my friends and one of said friends made a very profound comment. "Don't think I am weird,' said he, 'but this is how I know God loves me." I didn't think it was weird. I thought it was true. Sometimes the Lord shows His love is small, almost silly ways. So, since that evening (and it was not so long ago), I have been on the look out for the ways that the Lord shows me He loves me. I found one that was sillier than eating oranges like apples. It was a rigor mortised raccoon. I kid you not. I was on my way to work and I saw a little raccoon lying on the side of the road on University Parkway. The raccoon's little arm was stuck straight up in the air, so was it's leg. It was almost as if the raccoon was performing and extending his spirit fingers and toes with all his might. The whole morbidly adorable scene was perfected by the look on the raccoon's face. It's eyes and mouth were wide open and it looked like the biggest smile I have ever seen on anyone's face. When I saw that smile, I knew God loved me. I was in desperate need of a laugh that morning and if I could feel like I was cared for just by seeing a dead raccoon, I don't think it's so bad to laugh. Weird, yes, but sometimes that is just the way things go.







